Weird because I never anticipated such a long pause between entries, and good because I've missed it. Many things have happened in the last few months. I lost my Dad in December...wow, that was weird to type. I will do a post about him sometime. I wasn't aware of his deteriorating condition. So although it wasn't a shock that he was unhealthy, I was not prepared for what happened.
It has changed me. It's like I had a life before with a father on earth, and now I have this other life without a dad. To say that I've completely accepted it is probably not accurate. When I've needed to cry or breakdown, I have. Part of the process is like reprogramming your brain because you had that person your whole life. Now you don't. No more phone calls, visits, touching them, hearing their voice....it is a lot to take in. Of course I realize that believers have the hope of heaven and I'm not talking about that. What I'm working on is accepting my life here on earth without my Dad.
I apologize to anyone who reads this who feels that I haven't gone to them. My love for you hasn't changed. I'm grieving.
The "big" kids are still in school and our little cutie is almost 8 months. Having kids in such a big age range has made for quite an interesting variety of experiences. Everything from body changes, obsessions with Star Wars, loosing front teeth, watching out for choking hazards, to longing for sleep filled nights (he's up again! grrr-probably his gums)...so much always going on in this house. We are blessed beyond what we could ever deserve.
